2023 Year End Letter: My Love Story

I’ve done a lot in 2023. I got a breast reduction. I saw the Renaissance World Tour, twice. I saw the Los Angeles Lakers play, something I have been waiting to do since 2020. I went on a six-city road trip for my birthday. And, I “graduated” from therapy. All of these moments were special, much needed, and appreciated; however, the best thing I did this year was fall in love with my fiancé, JaRon. We met on NYE 2023, so I figurd it would be fitting to share our love story on the one-year anniversary of the day we met.

For New Year’s Eve 2023, I hosted a karaoke party at W Karaoke in St. Louis, MO, for my friends and family. JaRon was the plus one of another guest. Throughout the night he attempted to invite me out after the party, but I already had other plans. I gave him my number during the party and he walked me to my car at the end of the night.

Before I left, I asked him his age, if he was a father, and I made him aware that I didn’t live in St. Louis because a lot of people are not into long distance dating, even though I enjoy it. He told me his age, that he did not have any children, and that he didn’t mind that I live in Nashville because we had “time”.

He text me later in the night and we began to get to know each other. One of the first things he shared with me was that he is a self-taught guitarist. I happened to have a guitar that I did not know how to play. He offered to teach me how to play my guitar and that was our first virtual date: a guitar lesson.

Obviously the lesson went well, but I was impressed with his patience and his ability to adapt his teaching to my learning style. Plus, I had fun.

We continued lessons for awhile before we started having virtual movie dates and virtual game nights, where we spent time playing iPhone games and listening to music via SharePlay or watching television shows and movies.

In between our virtual dates, we would text pretty much all day getting to know each other through random questions and sharing our interests. I noticed he was very easy to talk to and he was actively engaging in our conversations; not the just the typical “good morning” or the dreaded “wyd” text. We didn’t have the opportunity to see each other in person again until February when I was visiting St. Louis for my breast reduction consultation.

We planned to go out, but he had to work overtime. Instead of canceling the date, he invited me to come to work with him. He works in the STEM field and always talks about how much he loves his job. I was excited to see what he does at work, so I accepted the invitation. We had takeout for dinner and made soap at his job, in between me observing him while he worked. I appreciated him still finding a way to spend time with me. I made time to see him once more before I headed back to Nashville, and at that time I started to entertain the idea of a possible relationship with him.

We continued to get to know each other and talking more via phone and FaceTime. I was still dating, but nobody was holding my attention the way he was. One day during a therapy session, I admitted to my therapist that I knew many of the men I had dated or were dating were not “the one”, but I continued to date them because I was having a good time and understood what the outcome would inevitably be. She countered this thought by asking why did I continue to waste time with people I knew were not for me instead of investing my time in more fulfilling romantic interests. It was like a lightbulb came on in that moment and I began to end communication with men that I knew were not a fit for me.

JaRon and I saw each other again in May when I stopped in St. Louis while road tripping for my birthday. During this trip, I saw him every day. We went on a few dates and learned more about each other’s boundaries and expectations. On May 23rd, JaRon asked me to be his girlfriend.

I planned to return to St. Louis on May 25th because I was scheduled for breast reduction surgery on May 26th, which JaRon was aware of. The day before I came home, he told me I could recover at his house because we were in a relationship now and my care is his responsibilty. This was different for me because I am used to making plans for myself, but I went with it because we were in a relationship and caring for your partner is part of that. I was going to be in STL for 30 days… and this is where our relationship began to escalate.

When JaRon made the offer to take care of me, I kept one of my friends on standby in case the care I needed turned out to be too much or if co-habitating together for 30 days turned out to not be ideal, but it turned out to be a really enjoyable experience.

We had spent the last five months getting to know each other, including how we express ourselves and our boundaries. We had an understanding of one another that made being in the same space very easy. We naturally fell into a routine of doing everything together. Cooking, running errands, watching TV series & anime, going on dates; things we don’t get to do often with the distance. He even met my siblings and I included him on an outing with my friends. He just naturally fit into my life and the people closest to me liked him.

Nearing the end of my trip, I thought about asking him to ride back to Nashville with me to extend our time together, but I didn’t want to be overbearing and it was a last minute request that required him to book a flight. Ultimately, I decided against it, but two days before I was scheduled to leave, he told me he would like to ride back to Nashville with me to bring my bags into my home and he would fly back before he had to return to work. It was like he read my mind. I was so excited to get some extra time with him.

When we got back to Nashville, he spent time with me running errands; dropping off my laundry, cleaning my car, and grocery shopping because I had been away from my home for a month recovering. As we were leaving Publix, walking to my car, JaRon said, “we need to live together.”

In that moment, I didn’t think much of this comment because I assumed he, like myself, was on a high from spending 30 days together and that we would fall back into our normal routine of long distance once he returned to St. Louis. Plus, I had been saving money to move to Philadelphia, PA with the intent to purchase a condo or townhome.

He returned to St. Louis with plans to come back to Nashville in July. When he came back in July, we went to see Barbie: The Movie and we went swimming. He was scheduled to return to St. Louis on a Monday, so we had a lunch date on 21st Street, before he headed home. 21st Street is near Vanderbilt University in Nashville. There’s shopping and a lot of restaurants in the area. There is also a jewelry store on 21st Street, and as we passed I asked him did he want to go in to look at rings for fun. He thought it would be fun, too, so we went inside to look.

While we were supposed to be browsing for fun, I fell in love with this unique, emerald cut ring. I had “picked” a ring, which turned into him picking a ring, and us looking at different diamonds for the setting. Things were escalating quickly. At one point, I asked him were we really doing this and after a very short discussion, we agreed we were buying rings… Or, at least that was what we thought.

We left the jewelry store having picked a setting and giving the jeweler our contact information to move forward, but we never heard back. After the excitement of being in a jewelry store passed, I asked myself would I be happy being married to JaRon. I sat with that question and ultimately concluded that there was no reason I would not want to marry him. We had had a few conversations about being married and about a week after visiting the jewelry store, he told me had been looking at engagement rings and building custom engagement rings online.

He eventually decided it would be best to include me in the ring-picking process. He had plans to come Nashville to attend the Wilson County Fair with me the weekend of August 18th, and decided we should make an appointment at Brilliant Earth to try on rings and see what I liked in person. On August 18th, we had our appointment and I found the perfect ring. During the appointment, the woman is asked to leave the room to allow the man to discuss specifics and allow him the opportunity to make a decision to buy the ring on his own. I told myself that I was not going to ask him if he bought the ring, but I couldn’t help myself and I asked him as soon as we got to the car. I was overcome with emotions when he told me he had purchased the ring. We had both decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and we were proving that to one another.

We spent the next two weeks together in St. Louis, with him returning to Nashville, with me, to spend Labor Day together. When he left, I began to wonder when he was going to propose. I had multiple dates in mind, but for some reason I just knew it was going to happen on his birthday. I was so sure it was going to be on his birthday, a close friend of mine and I began referring to the dress I planned to wear on his birthday as “the engagement dress”… and of course, I was right.

Prior to traveling to St. Louis for his birthday, he told me we weren’t getting engaged while I was visiting because he only gets to propose once and he wanted it to be perfect. Admittedly, I was disappointed hearing this because in my mind all he needed was the ring and I knew he had the ring in his possession. This was also the first time we would be seeing one another since he purchased the ring. I got over that disappointment and understood that I had no control over the situation. I was just ready to spend time together and celebrate his birthday because we hadn’t seen one another in six weeks.

The night of his birthday, we put on some of our best outfits and had dinner at Fleming’s. It was a really nice evening, that we spent talking and taking photos with and of one another (one of my favorite activities). Through out dinner, he jokingly asked did I want to know when we were getting engaged. I repeatedly responded, “If it isn’t happening tonight, I don’t want to know.”

When we returned to his home, JaRon kept telling me to go to the bedroom and relax. I heard him, but I was busy trying to put away our leftovers, letting my dog out and hanging up my coat. He, again, told me to go relax while he took care of everything. As I entered the bedroom, I noticed two Build-a-Bear stuffed animals on his bed dressed as a bride and groom and I realized that he was proposing.

He pointed out two dozen roses on the dresser, along with customized champagne glasses with both our names and the date. He expressed his feelings, starting off by saying, from the moment he met me, he knew I was “the one”. He gave me my dream proposal and I happily said, “yes,” when he asked me to marry him.

I have been engaged to JaRon, my future husband, for about two months. We have taken this time to enjoy this new phase of our relationship and share it with the people closest to us. We have spent our first holiday season traveling and we’ve even picked a wedding date. This transition has been very joyous and filled with great vibes.

I used to think people who said “when you know, you know,” were annoyingly optimistic and that there was no sure way to “know” someone was the one, but now, I know that when you know, you absolutely know. Without a doubt. I am so excited to see what amazing things come from our union, to have someone accompany me on my future adventures, and contribute one another’s growth.

I am grateful for what came of 2023, experiencing love exactly how I deserve and being able to reciprocate without limit. I am more excited than ever to see how good 2024 gets.

To more love in 2024 and the year treating everyone well, Happy New Year 💗 Jaymi